Forty Three Hours of Painting
Weekly Report 2/27 to 3/12
This past week was not the usual Spring break for me. Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining when I say this, but I spent most of my week doing schoolwork. The first five days were spent painting, and that is where I will mainly focus on for this report.
I found that painting one hundred paintings was not nearly as exhausting as I previously assumed. Not only am I not burned out of painting, but I want to paint even more than before. Painting all those paintings made me realize how emotionless I can be with painting. I was almost entirely focused on finishing the paintings, not on creating them. I regrettably did not put nearly as much emotion into my paintings as I should have. Some look rejected, as if I did not even want to paint them; others look lifeless and dull. However, that does not deter me or even discourage me. I learned the importance of emotion in painting. Emotion translated the passion of an artist to their painting and that creates life of the painting. I want to continue painting and working on truly pouring my passion into my paintings. I feel that is the best way for me to grow as an artist.
While driving back home from SMU I had another important realization that may answer one of the repeating questions I have had throughout this year: is art truly my passion? Ms. Vernon mentioned that I should not be discouraged because I am not finishing my paintings in her course. She explained the main goal, for me in her course, is to learn about painting in more detail. Finishing the paintings is not necessarily important; going through the process, however, is. Ms. Vernon also stated that she enjoys having me in her class, and although she did not specify why, I believe it is because I tend to receive her criticism well. I laugh at my mistakes and work to improve them. Of course that does not mean I take criticism perfectly, but I like to think that I take it well enough to make the learning process more enjoyable.
What Ms. Vernon said, however, was not what led me to my answer. What did lead me to my answer was what I believe is the purpose of her statement. I cannot be sure, but I think Ms. Vernon was trying to encourage me to come to her classes more often. Once I noticed this, I realized how much I did want to come more often to her class. I feel at peace there. I am only stressed when a painting does not turn out as originally intended, which admittedly happens pretty often, but it is not the kind of stress that creates anxiety or builds upon them. It is more of a child-like stress, something that can easily be solved. Because of that, I find that my drive for improvement exponentially increases when I am there. This desire I have to go to those classes I believe is the answer to my question. There, I want to forget everything else except art, and that, I believe, is passion.