Weekly Report 22
An artist is always meant to be thinking about art; their lives should revolve around it. This seemingly obvious statement seems redundant. Nevertheless it is difficult to follow through with it. There are plenty of other things in my life that get in the way of my art; finding ways to work around these things is really the only way to keep my focus. This task, though, of working around distractions, is subconscious.
I did notice when it started, but recently I have grown aware of the way in which I see the world. Let me explain. It had been raining for a few days before I realized what I was looking at. It was a puddle, of course. However, it was not just a puddle. It was a reflection; it was a portal, a gateway to another, blurrier world. The reflection that followed the building or post the puddle stood beside seemed impeccable. Like a mirror, it showed the lines of that building or post when down to the puddle and continued inside it; the post seemed to double in size. It was not perfect though. Some details were overlooked, and the reflection was fuzzy. It moved like a Van Gogh painting; that style I crave to imitate. This reflection, this painting stood apart from everything else. It was a portal to another world.
I believe this is what I should be doing. Seeing the world in this way allows me to think constantly of art. It makes the mundane pop! Moreover, I feel more creative and interested in painting the world around me. It made me think, maybe my painting are like this puddle, a reflection or portal to another world, that slightly differs from ours.
Weekly Report 21
My main focus for the week was my Original Work Speech. I actually do enjoy practicing for each speech. The process is not only entertaining, but also incredibly rewarding. The feeling I get after a well done speech is satisfying; it is as though I instantly feel proud of myself. In a sense, it is a great ego boost! Working towards the speech is great as well. It encourages me to reflect on my growth and clarifies where I need to go next.
The process also brings out what areas of my subject I have not studied. These areas lack any real development. For example, I have not looked into feasibility as much this year; the more I think about it, I realize that I rarely asked my mentor about anything other than her organization. Of course, this has been beneficial. My organizational skills have improved and been constantly challenged this year. Nevertheless, I should work on improving these areas which are lacking in information.
Outside of reflection, the speech almost serves as a distraction. When practicing and actually presenting, the information I am saying matters little to how I am saying it. During these speeches my attention lies on the way I am presenting the information to my audience. I want them to feel interested in what I have to say; I want them to feel involved. This distraction provides me with a decent break where I can establish new priorities, which usually come from the creation process of the speech. My priorities switch, so I can address those lacking areas. These speeches are amazingly beneficial; every aspect of them allows me to grow!
Weekly Report 20
As I finally began changing my habits in order to improve on those weaknesses I keep mentioning, I was stricken by the flu. It was sudden; it caught me off guard and seemed to derail my plans. However, it disappeared quickly as well, and, more importantly, those sick days allowed me to reflect on my plans.
The schedule I made worked wonders, I kept track and finished every assignment I had to work on. Moreover, I felt a great deal of less stress; I was enjoying myself. That fear of failure seemed to vanish. Instead, I was more concerned with finding ways to enjoy the learning process. It reminded me why I took ISM again.
I wanted to challenge myself; I wanted to struggle. I am glad these weaknesses were exposed. Now I can deal with them! I should not feel ashamed of my flaws or failures; of course, I should not be proud of them. The struggle is meant to help me improve and grow. That painting I took ages to finish was meant to be difficult; the difficulty made it better. I learned more because I struggled, and I have gained the motivation necessary to begin improving.
It is so weird. This feeling of motivation. It is that excitement to take a new step; one where my foot is firmly planted. It is like the midpoint of painting; when it is just a sketch or charcoal drawing. This haphazard combination of lines that barely look like something. It is crude and raw, but that is what is so compelling about it. The sketch motivates me to finish it, to polish and finalize it.