Weekly Report 20
As I finally began changing my habits in order to improve on those weaknesses I keep mentioning, I was stricken by the flu. It was sudden; it caught me off guard and seemed to derail my plans. However, it disappeared quickly as well, and, more importantly, those sick days allowed me to reflect on my plans.
The schedule I made worked wonders, I kept track and finished every assignment I had to work on. Moreover, I felt a great deal of less stress; I was enjoying myself. That fear of failure seemed to vanish. Instead, I was more concerned with finding ways to enjoy the learning process. It reminded me why I took ISM again.
I wanted to challenge myself; I wanted to struggle. I am glad these weaknesses were exposed. Now I can deal with them! I should not feel ashamed of my flaws or failures; of course, I should not be proud of them. The struggle is meant to help me improve and grow. That painting I took ages to finish was meant to be difficult; the difficulty made it better. I learned more because I struggled, and I have gained the motivation necessary to begin improving.
It is so weird. This feeling of motivation. It is that excitement to take a new step; one where my foot is firmly planted. It is like the midpoint of painting; when it is just a sketch or charcoal drawing. This haphazard combination of lines that barely look like something. It is crude and raw, but that is what is so compelling about it. The sketch motivates me to finish it, to polish and finalize it.