Weekly Report 19
I realize it is extremely ironic for me write about my failures and weaknesses in this weekly report right after last week’s. I am proud of my accomplishments, but my failures seems more prominent recently. Also, I am not writing this to complain; I need to address the various issues that have been haunting my year.
Writing this will help me cement my problems and encourage me to respond to them. There is the difference between thinking I want to paint one hundred paintings and telling the person in front of me I will paint one hundred paintings. Once I say or promise something to whoever, I am committed to follow through that promise. So, this report is my promise. I will conquer my faults; I will improve!
It is not as if I do not see my faults. They are obvious; the problem is that I am struggling to address them. No, there are no excuses. Not for the assessments I have turned in late. Not for my procrastination. Not for my lack of ambition and motivation. No, there is no room for excuses.
Yes, my major issue is procrastination; it always has been. What differentiates it this year is the extent it is consuming me. I cannot even begin to count the hours I waste away on my phone. Honestly, it is ridiculous! So, here is my plan to address it:
First, after writing this I will update my website; it has been some time. Next, I will create a calendar to roughly divide my day up. I have to set up a time dedicated to homework because I have shown myself that I cannot manage without one. Then, I will write down a to-do list of what I hope to accomplish this week and today; writing down these relatively long-term and short-term goals will provide me some perspective of my progress. Finally, I will create a series of alarms and reminders to compel me to work on whatever needs to be done.
Well, I guess that is not really the final step; that would be following my plan. I need to actually accept and use this calendar. A good way to do so would be to ask someone to hold me accountable. Nevertheless, regardless of how I follow the calendar, I need to consistently do so; like with my paintings. Once I make this a habit I will not struggle to motivate myself to accomplish my goals.
Finishing my Original Work
Weekly Report 18
I was looking at the paintings I submitted for the art shows I applied for. I was genuinely proud of each art piece. Of course, each piece has its problems, its weaknesses. Nevertheless, I am proud. They showcase growth and more importantly ambition.
Risk-taking is something I wrote about wanting to in the beginning of the year, and, despite many moments of doubt, I have challenged myself to do just that! My paintings and drawings have grown more stylized and expressive. I am slowly reaching that style I crave; every piece looks more and more like a painting from Van Gogh. Of course, they are not an exact copy of the style; even if I wanted to copy it exactly, I cannot help but add a but of my on twist on the technique. Using acrylic also helps in that regard because it forces me to use more colors than her did and to layer my paint more than usual. The reason, though, for this growth is because I have been painting more often, and consistently too!
I have been pursuing the goal I set for myself this year, to make painting a habit, and I am succeeding. It takes about eight hours for me to paint something (usually I do so in one day); I have been painting something every two weeks. At this point I have created fourteen pieces, and that is amazing. I could never have dreamed of doing something this quickly two years ago; a year ago I could not have imagined myself doing so with this much consistency. My quote for the year compels me to pursue my passion when doubtful; my progress in doing so reassures me that I am following the right path.
Weekly Report 17
The Research Showcase is right around the corner and, naturally, every ISM student is preparing for it as best they can. I assumed the process would be as time consuming and difficult as last year, but this was not the case. Instead, I found the days leading up to the showcase to be fairly stress free. That is how most of the year has been for me; a slow climb up a few steps. Compared to last year’s slow crawl up a mountain, I have not struggles nearly as much. Of course, the year has not been easy; nevertheless, it has not been difficult either.
The reasoning for this is pretty simple; I have already experienced the course, so the challenges it provides are not unexpected. I know how to solve most of the issues provided by the course. Being able to complete most tasks of ISM adequately allows me to focus on other parts I enjoy more. For example, I can focus more on mentor visits instead of my assessments because I already can write them fairly well. In theory, the quality of all my work should be either the same as last year or better. The only thing that can prevent this is laziness. This overconfidence can make most tasks seem unappealing, which could lead to worse work ethic.
I need to make sure I do not fall into this trap. It is vital that I still continue to strive for improvement; I need to do my absolute best regardless of how easy or difficult the challenge is. This will ensure progress in my work and encourage more development.
Weekly Report 16
Progress, I believe, is not a gradual and steady increase. Progress is like a staircase; though, not an even one. Some steps are tall, others are long. It may take time to climb these tall steps, but once it is conquered a huge progress can be felt. The other steps feel endless; there is no progress for a while. Nevertheless, eventually the next step will be visible.
Although it may seem odd, this is exactly how I see progress. Instead of a slow, yet steady feeling of progress I feel large lulls where nothing can be felt. I am moving forwards, but not much is happening. Improvement seems negligible and, as the lull drags on, I begin to feel more and more discouraged and unmotivated. It is at these moments where I need to fully dedicate myself to my craft; at these moments, I rely willpower to help me conquer the lull. Once it is conquered, though, I feel euphoric. During these moments I feel intense and seemingly infinite progress. My efforts are rewarded, and it is almost overwhelming.
Right now, I am facing a lull. I am pouring myself into college and school, but feel little progress. Instead of complaining about it, which would further demotivate me, I am forcing myself to keep moving. Even if there is no progress in sight, I have to keep working my heart out. I know eventually I will feel that progress I desire. Maybe it will be during the ISM Showcase (as it was last year); maybe it come sooner, or even later. Nevertheless, it will come, but it will only come when I fully dedicate myself to accomplishing my goals.
An Involved Break
Weekly Report 15
Last year’s Mentorship was a wonderful and unforgettable experience; I would not change it for the world. So, when I discuss my mentorship this year, I do not mean to devalue what Professor Mary Vernon did for me. Nevertheless, my mentorship with Ms. Jahanyfard has been incredible! Of course, it is impossible to claim it is better or worse because both have been drastically different experiences. Ms. Vernon gave me a more classroom-focused experience that ignited my desire for art. Ms. Jahanyfard, on the other hand, is allowing me to join the art world and test my passion.
Ms. Jahanyfard, this past winter break, showcased a desire to not just teach me about painting, but also to involve me in the art world. She has been inspiring and encouraging me to paint with her, and continues to provide me with patient guidance. With her, I feel that I may truly take my first step into the world of art. Ms. Jahanyfard has widened the lens in which I see this mystical world; detail is finally visible.
I am learning about how an art community organizes itself and promotes local artists. Moreover, I am being allowed to directly speak with a greater variety of artists. This has introduced me to more careers and personalities involved in this field. I feel involved and present. I am part of this world. In a sense, this break revealed to me the extent in which I can dive into painting. The world feels tangible. Although I still cannot grasp the limits of this career, I can finally see them. That alone shows me the progress I have made this year in knowledge alone; now I am ready to begin applying that knowledge.