Habitual Painting
Weekly Report 1 During this first week back to school a single thought haunted me, I did not paint a single painting this summer. Yeah, not one, can you believe it? How can I claim something is my passion if I am not able to bring myself to paint during the season in which I have the most time available? Because of this, I decided to do what ISM trained me to do last year, I reflected on what went wrong and attempted to come up with a plan to fix my apparent issue. Why did I not paint? Well, as much as I wanted to, it was easier to watch YouTube and play video games. Of course, that is not to say I had all the time in the world; in June, I was working on an entire online summer school course in two weeks because I was going away for the entirety of July. I was visiting my family in Brazil, which, by the way, was absolutely amazing. In August, I was more focused on figuring out my college applications, so I was busy. However, I still had plenty of time to paint. I think my reasoning for not painting was that it was, and is, not a habit; when stressed I do not paint, I play video games. That is the problem, and the best way to fix that is to paint more. The best way to grow as a painter is to make painting a habit because it will allow me to continuously work at my passion. I will be honest though, I did not realize this by myself, Mrs. Leslie, a guest speaker Mr. Speice invited, stressed the importance of making one’s passion one’s habit. As I previously stated, it is the best way to improve and grow. Mrs. Leslie had an incredible story of perseverance and she inspired me to work at my passion; to make it a hobby. Mrs. Leslie’s speech is part of the reason I have decided to make consistent painting my goal this year. The other reason was the quote I stumbled upon while searching for motivational quote for the year. It is a quote from Van Gogh, and it states, “If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You are not a painter,’ then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced.”. The second I found this quote I audibly gasped; I did not breath for a good while. I kept thinking before this point, if I did not paint for three months, then maybe I am not meant to be a painter. Van Gogh is telling me to ignore that voice and to prove it wrong; the only way to do that is to paint, so that is what I will do. I decided to make habitual painting my mission this year, and I did my best to reflect that in my mission statement. I truly feel that it is the best way to grow as a painter and a person. After finding everything that happened this summer and this week, I can confidently say that I am ready and excited to begin another unbelievable journey this year.
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Almost There
Weekly Report 4/30/17 to 5/14/17 Oddly enough, it seems that despite finishing most of what needs to be completed for the Final Presentation Night, I am increasingly stressed. Maybe it is because I sort of just want the year to end or maybe I just have not been using my time wisely and I have become increasingly aware of it. I am finding it hard to be as excited for the FPN as I was before. I accepted responsibilities that increase the amount of pressure on me, which might be impacting my motivation and excitement. To be honest though, I believe all my stress stems from a lack of sleep. The procrastination problem persists, but I believe, for the most part, I have been improving. I have gotten a great deal of work finished and am continuing to work on completing all the assignments I have until the end of the year. However, I have been sleeping later than usual (due to poor time management) and it has taken its toll. By the end of school I feel exhausted and my motivation almost completely vanishes. I still manage to complete my assignments, but with less passion than usual. I do not want that to be the case; I dislike being stressed and ill-tempered. I want succeed in giving the three speeches I plan to give in the next two weeks. I want to thrive during the FPN. I want to succeed. I cannot do that if I am not at my best, and, and despite practicing as much as I possible, I cannot expect my best at this state. That is why I am taking measures to better my schedule. Even if these are not the root problems, finding ways to mitigate them will give me a boost of confidence and motivation that I believe will carry me to the finish line. Nonetheless, I feel as though I have set a high standard for myself. I want to and will do my best to meet these standards, regardless of the results. Staying on Track
Weekly Report 4/24/17 to 4/30/17 I have always struggled to stay on track to the point where I occasionally find myself spending hours avoiding homework. My problem revolves around YouTube; I cannot stop watching videos. To give an idea how ridiculous the problem is: I found myself watching a Mr. Bean documentary last week. MR. BEAN! Who in their right mind would watch that instead of doing work? I, however, have been trying to work at it. I have been putting in effort to gain a better grasp of my time, in order to avoid wasting my time with YouTube. It is not just annoying, but difficult to get rid of this habit. Despite wanting to find better ways to invest my time, I continuously fall back to the instant gratification YouTube brings. Nevertheless, I have devised a plan. If I limit myself to two hours of YouTube; it will force me to make better choices with the videos I watch. I will also be forced to find other things to do with the spare time I will be giving myself; I already have some ideas. I could spend my newly allotted time painting. I could actually paint daily if I manage my time accordingly, which will allow me to improve and develop my skills as a painter. Ms. Vernon has taught me that consistency is the key to improvement. Of course this consistency has to be supported by a conscious effort to develop one’s self. Consistency, nonetheless, is arguably more demanding than conscious learning. That is why I have to do my absolute best to follow this plan, I mean, if I do not, I will find myself watching more Mr. Bean documentaries. A New World
Weekly Report 4/17/17 to 4/23/17 This Thursday was the opening of the art show I was accepted to. I was able to experience a whole new side of the artistic world; one more geared towards socialization and networking. Although I was somewhat shy, it was a great experience and has given me the foundations to better prepare myself to similar events. The show was held in a small church. All the paintings, from many local artists, hung on the wall. I distinctly remember a vertical painting depicting, on the left, a small beach surrounded by hills on both sides, and, on the right, a small island and a few boats followed the reflected light of the ocean. This path led directly towards the sun; to the artist it represented her journey through life, as she tries to follow the correct path. I also remember another vertical painting of red roses glittering in the light. It sort of looked like a wall of roses covered the painting. Every painting, including the ones I have not mentioned, looked distinct from one another, but all expressed a sort of admiration towards life in one way or another. I realized, from looking at the paintings, the infinite ways a single theme can be expresses. I felt motivated to add more meaning to my pieces. This motivation was further propelled by my art teacher, Ms. Hamrick, who advised me to focus more on what I want to express in my paintings. She told me that to further improve my skills I need to stop painting for painting’s sake and begin adding meaning to my paintings. Admittedly, I am afraid of this. I struggle to come up with meaningful things to paint; usually my themes revolve around some random object I wanted to paint. This makes my paintings shallow, so, if I want to add depth, my paintings need to have more meaning behind them. I believe I will focus on expressing simple emotions at first. I do not know if that is the easiest thing to begin with, but at the very least it is a starting point, which, at the moment, is all I need. The show also showed me the importance of networking. For most of the show I was afraid to talk to the other artists, instead I hung around a couple of friends I invited to come. There was a canvas that everyone could paint on; my friends and I could not decide what to paint, so I went over to one of the artists and asked for advice. The short conversation taught me about decisiveness and confidence. The painter told me to be bold and just paint something that would stand out against everything else. At that point I noticed how easy it was to talk to him. I should have just began a conversation with every artist around me and asked about their artwork. Now that I know this I will try to talk to as many people as I can in the next show. Networking will give me new opportunities and it will teach me a great deal about art, and because of this it is vital for me to become comfortable in settings like these. Shapes
Weekly Report 4/10/17 to 4/16/17 Rather than writing about my whole week in general or write about some thought that stuck with me throughout the week, I will touch on a lesson I learned from Ms. Vernon. Details, the minutiae, it is what most people focus on when creating art. Most will draw the head completely before moving on with the body. They will dedicate themselves to one specific object instead of the whole image; this is why creating large painting is difficult for many. I am no different. Although I like to think my drawings are not focused on the details as much, my paintings definitely are. I guess it is a sort of comfort zone that I want to work on; almost as if I am too afraid to tackle the whole image. Maybe it is because I become infatuated with an object. Mr. Vernon saw, in our class, a tendency to focus on these objects, or “things”, and she decided to put it to a stop. The best paintings are composed of “shapes” (organic and geometric), not “things”. By focusing on the shapes in an image, scenery, or whatever one is looking at, one is able to see the image as a whole. It becomes virtually impossible for someone to become lost in one object because it is not an object; it is a shape. I found this somewhat annoying. I did not want to make a basic image; I wanted to paint what I saw. Ms. Vernon patiently explained that by creating this basic image with simple shapes, the artist not only gains an idea of the whole image, but also is given the foundations to build a realistic image off this basic outline created by the shapes. Once the artists creates the basic shapes that themselves compose the image, they can give detail to these shapes. Maybe the darker one should be darker in one area and lighter in another. Maybe this lighter rectangle has another rectangle inside it. Maybe this yellow-brown rectangle’s left edge should be tilted differently; in a more realistic way that fits into the perspective. That is the idea. After spending a few hours painting “shapes”. I began to enjoy its merits. Ms. Vernon said it makes dealing with painting’s problems much easier, and I could not agree more. I will attempt to do this from now on. Although it initially seemed time consuming, I believe if I work at it, the process will become quicker and easier. I understand that writing about this lesson does not necessarily explain what events unfolded throughout the week, but I still believe writing about it has its value. A painting is not a compilation of many detailed “things”; painting is a, single, detailed image made up of simple shapes. Learning this opens my world and it allows me to improve, which, as it should with anyone, motivates me to paint more. If I want to become a painter, I should develop my own style. The only way to do it is by exploring different techniques that I can use to develop my own unique style. My Speech
Weekly Report 4/3/17 to 4/9/17 A large focus of mine this past week was dedicated to my FPN (Final Presentation Night) speech. I was not able to rehearse or even work on it as much as I wanted to, but I still managed to present my best speech yet. I began working on the speech on Wednesday. I wanted to begin earlier, but I was unable to manage my time correctly. Not because I had too much work, no, I spent a great deal of time doing nothing productive. Half the time I was sleeping or playing videogames. Part of me just wants the year to end; I am feeling impatient and less motivated to work. Maybe that has impacted my work ethic these past feel weeks. However, I managed to get back on track toward the end of the week. I decided to completely redo my presentation. What I had before looked great, but it made it hard to showcase photos. Because of that I made one that used one of my paintings as a background. It had a perfect part that was entirely open to using as a presentation, which allowed me to upload photos. It took a while to change the layout and overall content of the presentation, yet I am proud of what I made. It feels personal and genuine, which was my goal. It was not too difficult, however. I simply relayed my thoughts into the presentation. The difficulty game when I began rehearsing it. Each practice speech I made took around twenty minutes; this proved to be incredibly time consuming. Although it was somewhat annoying, it did not discourage me. The length of time made it easier to let loose; it allowed me to elaborate. In a way, it felt natural, and I began enjoying it by the end of my practice. I had no script, instead, I used the presentation as a form of outline. Each bullet point served as a talking point which I could elaborate on. The practice made the actual speech much easier to present. I was not nervous, worried, or anxious. I was comfortable to speak to my peers. I did not care if I screwed up at some point; I was much more worried about relaying my message. This led to me completely bypassing any mistakes as if they had never happened. This mindset also eased the process. I was able to simply talk about my ISM journey without any worries. I did not care what everyone else thought. All I wanted to do was share my journey and my reflections regarding it. All of this culminated to my best speech yet. I was exhilarated to have finally finished it, but that was not the best part. What was great about it, was that I felt comfortable doing it. I felt prepared and excited to share my journey, and this confidence allowed me to thrive during my presentation. How Lucky am I?
Weekly Report 3/27 to 4/3 I couple weeks ago I submitted an application to the Visuals Arts Guild of Frisco for an art show, “Celebration of Life”. I submitted four of my one hundred paintings, and, to my surprise, I was accepted. As much as I am proud of my accomplishment, I am not sure if I was simply lucky. I mention this because I have never had to much success in regards to art shows. For example: three out of four has been my highest score in our district’s art competition, VASE. Three is a fine score, but most of my peers have had fours consistently. So I ask, why did I make it into this show? Admittedly, it could be because I have improved massively this year. However, I am unsure if that is the case. What if it was just luck? Ms. Vernon said it could be the case. Many great artists are constantly rejected, but some are lucky enough to get into many shows. The only way to find out would be to apply to more shows, which I am still working on. It seems stagnancy will be harder to overcome than I had anticipated. Nevertheless, my success could also be attributed to persuasion. My mentor and a few professionals at the business symposium have mentioned that I sell myself well. My successful application might as well prove that they are right. Whatever the case may be, I will take this as a sign of improvement. Improvement, however, seems to best spawn from failure. It engenders reflection and it can motivate people to do much more than success ever could. Of course this does not mean I will not learn anything during the art show; the show will teach me a great deal about art shows in general and it will prepare me for future events of the sort. I mention failure because I am somewhat unsure of how failure will impact me. I cannot be sure if I will give up because of failure or if I will grow because of it. There is now perfect way to predict my response, but it does not matter either way. I want to improve. I want to overcome any obstacles that I am forced to face. I want paint. Painting is my passion and not matter what I will want to continue painting. My response to failure does not matter because I want to paint; the only way to do that is to overcome failure. And that is exactly what I plan to do. Overcoming Stagnancy
Weekly Report 3/20 to 3/26 I have a habit of “taking breaks” after completing something. It may be just a small part of a larger project, but I will still take a break. The peace this break brings can be beneficial in that they give me a fresh perspective to reevaluate my work. However, these breaks can also create stagnancy and procrastination. It is vital for me to quickly and effectively begin working on my project once more. Otherwise, my progress will slow to a halt. In a way that is what happened these past two weeks. After finishing the one hundred paintings my priorities shifted and I began working on other things like my ISM II Application and a few tests for other classes. At the moment, I find myself at the tipping point between stagnancy and progress. I need to take action and begin working once more. Although I have already applied for a show, Ms. Vernon and I decided I should apply for another two. Once that is completed I need to begin editing my video footage and record whatever is needed for the documentary. I still plan to reach out to someone for help, but I need to do so soon. If I continue to avoid doing so I might never finish my documentary. Every single one of these goals are behind schedule. That does not mean I cannot finish in time. I began the product early enough that I still can finish in time. Nonetheless, I need to take the initiative to do so. That is why I have decided to set a few goals for the week. I idea is that by setting up small goals, I will be able to better stay on track. By the end of the week I hope to have begun the editing process, to have reached out to someone for help, and to have finished applying to at least one more show. I cannot elongate this “break,” so I will use this week to gain some motivation. Next Year’s Big Question
Weekly Report 3/13 to 3/19 Last week not much progress was made in regards to my final project. However, I did begin working on my ISM II application for next year. I filled out the basics, but I was unable to write my essay or short answers. That was because I still was unsure of what I want to do next year. To be honest I do not think I ever will be certain about my future, but, as I have said many times before, my choices, in regards to my future, are based upon passion. I will pursue what makes me happy; whatever that may be. I originally thought I wanted to do concept art next year. I thought since I decided to do painting this year, I should go for my second choice, concept art, the next year. Concept art is definitely something I am interested in, but I do not have the means to pursue it. First of all, I do not have anything like Photoshop or Illustrator. Secondly, I barely have any experience with digital art. I believe this lack of basic knowledge would limit me immensely. I would have to learn basically everything about digital art without the software, which I believe would be stupidly difficult. Of course one could see this as a challenge, and that is exactly what it is. I could face this challenge, but I believe it would be too time consuming. I will be challenging myself next year already by taking 5 AP classes. Balancing that with concept art is possible, but, I believe, unhealthy. It may hurt my pride to say this, but I have limits. I must be clear, however, that I would, without any doubt, pursue this if I found a passion for concept art, but, due of my lack of knowledge, I do not seem to be as passionate about it as I previously thought. The ISM application seemed like a chore to me. In all honesty, I was dreading the prospect of finishing it. Yesterday was a turning point, however. I thought, for a brief second, what if I did painting again. That was it! That was all I needed. I suddenly jumped with excitement. For the first time, I began to look forward to next year’s ISM experience. I was not just continuing it for the sake of doing so, but because my love for painting motivated me to learn more. I instantly thought out a plan. This year has been largely focused on my growth as a painter. I have been learning to paint and began a process of personal development. Next year would not be a carbon copy of that. No, I want to do something different. I want to explore another side of painting. Mrs. Mason, during our interviews, referred to painting as a business. That is what I want to learn about next year. The business of painting is something I touched on at the beginning of the year, but I soon realized that before I began looking into that I needed to develop myself as a painter. I needed to learn more about the process of painting before I looked at it in a business perspective because if I did not do so there was a chance I could spoil my love for painting. Now that I have explored painting solely through passion I believe I am ready to learn its business. I mentioned at the beginning of this report that my choices are based upon my enjoyment of something. So, now that I realize that, for the moment, I do not enjoy concept art as I once thought I did. Rather, I enjoy painting infinitely more. It is my passion, so I am compelled to pursue it. Forty Three Hours of Painting
Weekly Report 2/27 to 3/12 This past week was not the usual Spring break for me. Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining when I say this, but I spent most of my week doing schoolwork. The first five days were spent painting, and that is where I will mainly focus on for this report. I found that painting one hundred paintings was not nearly as exhausting as I previously assumed. Not only am I not burned out of painting, but I want to paint even more than before. Painting all those paintings made me realize how emotionless I can be with painting. I was almost entirely focused on finishing the paintings, not on creating them. I regrettably did not put nearly as much emotion into my paintings as I should have. Some look rejected, as if I did not even want to paint them; others look lifeless and dull. However, that does not deter me or even discourage me. I learned the importance of emotion in painting. Emotion translated the passion of an artist to their painting and that creates life of the painting. I want to continue painting and working on truly pouring my passion into my paintings. I feel that is the best way for me to grow as an artist. While driving back home from SMU I had another important realization that may answer one of the repeating questions I have had throughout this year: is art truly my passion? Ms. Vernon mentioned that I should not be discouraged because I am not finishing my paintings in her course. She explained the main goal, for me in her course, is to learn about painting in more detail. Finishing the paintings is not necessarily important; going through the process, however, is. Ms. Vernon also stated that she enjoys having me in her class, and although she did not specify why, I believe it is because I tend to receive her criticism well. I laugh at my mistakes and work to improve them. Of course that does not mean I take criticism perfectly, but I like to think that I take it well enough to make the learning process more enjoyable. What Ms. Vernon said, however, was not what led me to my answer. What did lead me to my answer was what I believe is the purpose of her statement. I cannot be sure, but I think Ms. Vernon was trying to encourage me to come to her classes more often. Once I noticed this, I realized how much I did want to come more often to her class. I feel at peace there. I am only stressed when a painting does not turn out as originally intended, which admittedly happens pretty often, but it is not the kind of stress that creates anxiety or builds upon them. It is more of a child-like stress, something that can easily be solved. Because of that, I find that my drive for improvement exponentially increases when I am there. This desire I have to go to those classes I believe is the answer to my question. There, I want to forget everything else except art, and that, I believe, is passion. |